Running Out of Days

 Last year was a hard year for my family in many ways. However, we also experienced many joys. But we were thankful it was over and ready to move forward with 2020....only to meet a whole new and different kind of problems and perplexities. Along with all the world issues, divisions, chaos, sicknesses, and our own personal problems, my husband and I have experienced some health issues as well.

 My husband has this saying for us, "When we wake up tomorrow, it will be something else hurting on our bodies." Well, maybe, but I want to think more positive.

Like never before, the information given us on a daily basis is more than we can process in our minds. The news and fake news consumes the TV and newspaper and our thoughts. Our world seems to be falling apart at times. Our bodies seem to be falling apart at times! How do we handle all that's thrown at us every moment of the day?

Psalm 90 was written by Moses, "the man of God." My commentary says Moses was also "God's man, chosen of God, inspired by God, honored of God, and faithful to God."

He starts out telling God that throughout every generation, He is our dwelling place, meaning He is our refuge, our shelter, our protection, our HOME.

Ed and I have been talking about our earthly home. We love our home, our yard, our back porch. It's a peaceful place. We are homebodies, not wanting to be away from it very long. It's our place of rest and relaxation, where we can just be ourselves. We have lived in our home almost thirty years. It's our place of refuge from the world.

This is what God wants us to find in Him........Home.

"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Jesus

Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Before this verse, Moses talked about how frail we humans are. We are like "new grass in the morning....by evening it is dry and withered." Oh, some days I'm feeling that!

Not to be morbid, but he says here that we finish our days with a moan and that the length of our days is seventy years, maybe 80 if we have the strength. Well, if you're like us and have surpassed sixty, then our eyes widen a little more when we read this.

We don't normally live everyday thinking about dying. I did for a while, after my son passed away. I wanted for God to just let me die. I wasn't suicidal, I was in anguish and devastated. But God didn't allow that. I had to endure and I did because I found my "Home" in God.

Considering the shortness of our life is something we need to think about. How fast it speeds by. How do we use our days rightly and gain a heart of wisdom? By going "Home" to our dwelling place every morning. God awaits us. He offers us peace of mind and heart, comfort and strength for the day. This day. One day at a time. He also offers us a place to pour out our requests and be ourselves with Him. He know our hearts and thoughts anyway, so why not speak them to Him. For me, there's something about saying it out loud that confirms it. There's something about writing it down that seals it. He hears. He sees.

God is the only One who can satisfy our hearts - even while enduring sickness, broken bodies, grief, heartache, loss, world issues, etc. So while our days are running out quickly, how will we spend them? 

Today, Lord, take our frailties and "satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love." Give us joy for our days and let Your beauty be upon us. Live through us and "establish the work of our hands" for Your glory.

I'm coming Home!

Can He Sit With Us?

Do you think about what heaven will be like? If you have a loved one there, the tendency is to reflect on this. Sometimes, God gives us a glimpse to what heaven will be like.

 I've been in Matthew chapter eight. I can't seem to move forward because I'm finding so much there for contemplation. 

In this chapter:
By the touch and willingness of Jesus a leper is healed
By the word and readiness of Jesus a servant is healed
By the touch of Jesus Peter's mother-in-law is healed
By the power of Jesus he teaches that following Him is costly
By the power and word of Jesus, the sick and demon-possessed are healed and freed
By the rebuke of Jesus, a storm is calmed

Just by His touch
Just by His willingness
Just by a word
Just by His readiness

Just by His Power
Just by His rebuke

And the disciples are asking, "What kind of man is this?" He heals. He sleeps from exhaustion. He preaches. He calms a storm.He casts out demons. He is spoken to by demons who were terrified of Him. Those demons in the demon-possessed men knew what kind of man this was. They asked of Jesus, "What do you want with us, Son of God?" He's the God-Man. Oh, and by the way, He is the sinless, perfect Son of God regardless of who says or thinks otherwise.

I would encourage anyone reading this to further study this chapter. There is so much here that I haven't even touched with my words. However, to get to the part I wanted to write about, we have to go back to the servant that was healed. He belonged to a Centurion; a Gentile; a Roman soldier.

This Centurion was begging Jesus to help because his servant was in terrible suffering. He never asked Jesus to come to his house because he respected the fact that Jesus was a Jew and didn't want to put Him in the awkward position of entering a Gentiles home. But Jesus shows no partiality. He's ready and willing to go heal the servant. The Centurion tells Jesus, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." Jesus marvels at this Gentiles' faith and says to those listening, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven." Then he tells the Centurion to go, and his servant would be healed just as he believed he would.

Here is our glimpse into heaven and I love what Jesus tells us here! We are going to sit down to a dinner, a feast, and have great company and fellowship! We will enjoy each other while we are resting and feasting! And people from all over, believers from the east and the west, will visit and get to know each other, even Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Since Jesus said this, It is so. It will happen.

About this verse, Charles Spurgeon said, "Ye shall hear those loved voices again, ye shall hear those sweet voices once more, ye shall yet know that those whom ye loved have been loved by God" (from Enduring Word).

And here is my prayer: Jesus, can Gary, our precious son who is already with You, sit right between me and Ed at this feast so we can love on him, get caught up and talk to him, touch him, and just sit and enjoy his company? I am so looking forward to this day. Mostly because my Savior will be there. Because of Him and the salvation He offers all of us, we will see Him face to face and be reunited with our believing loved ones. What a day that will be and not just a day, but forever!

I. Can't. Wait.

Another request, and it's for the second part of the verse with a glimpse of heaven.....there is a hell. "But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth:" Jesus, please open their eyes while there's still time. Show them their great need of You. It's not too late to be saved this very moment. Come to Jesus

I Am Going Fishing - 12th Annual

One of my son's favorite singers was Randy Travis. And one of his favorite songs by Randy was Keep Your Lure In The Water. I still have a vivid picture in my mind of Gary sitting in his boat, working on his lures and singing that song.

After Gary passed away, my sister put a CD together with his favorite songs and wrote on the top of the CD, "Gary's Mix." I love listening to his favorite songs. Three of these songs were played at his funeral because I knew he would want that. Recently, as I was listening to the Randy Travis song, I thought about its meaning.

When Jesus first called the disciples in Luke 5, they had been fishing all night and hadn't caught a thing. Jesus tells them to launch out into deep water. Peter follows the instructions and they caught so many fish their nets started to break and boats started to sink! Peter recognized the great miracle and fell at Jesus knees. Then Jesus tells them, "From now on you will catch men." Fishers of men.

They followed Jesus and made their life with Him. Now Jesus has been arrested, crucified and risen from the dead and had already appeared to His disciples. But where was the Lord now? What do they do next? Peter was uncertain of what to do, so he does what he does best and says "I am going fishing." And some of the disciples go with him. (John 21).

They caught nothing! How boring to fish all night without even a bite! If you're in a tournament, this will cause you to lose heart of winning. It's very tiring too. At least if you're catching fish the adrenaline is pumping. But sometimes it's just disappointing.

Peter was used to catching lots of fish. This night I'm sure he wondered if there were any fish left in the lake. Not. Even. A. Bite.

Life can be like this. All is going well, (catching lots of fish), then, the bottom drops out and disappointment after disappointment floods us, for whatever reason. And there seems like no hope, (not even a bite).

Don't give up. Peter fished all night and nothing, but he was still out in the lake fishing when Someone from the bank yells - "Are they Biting? Have you caught anything?"

And the answer was …….NO.

Then comes a reply, "Fish on the right side of the boat."  What?? Are you serious???

Life, and especially right now, can be so hard to understand. Confusion is everywhere. We can't even have a normal fishing tournament because of all the turmoil!

For some reason, Peter and the others turned to fish from the right side of their boat. Why did they choose to follow advice of Someone, at this point, they didn't even recognize? Maybe they were willing to change their method. Try another lure. Remembering what happened before with the miraculous catch. They didn't know it was Jesus giving the instruction. They were not so stubborn and set in their ways that they couldn't listen to advice. Sometimes good instruction from God comes in unexpected ways.

And they caught so many fish they couldn't haul them in!

Now they recognize that it is Jesus. Peter jumps out of the boat and swims as fast and hard as he can to get to Him. Jesus has breakfast ready. I find this interesting and comforting to know that God cares about things that concern us. Even the small things, like catching fish, using the right lure, preparing breakfast for them because He knew they were hungry and tired. It's not just the major life events and issues God cares about. When we realize how much Jesus loves us and is concerned about us more than anyone else, we throw off all that keeps us from Him so we can quickly get to where He is. And when we get to Him, He provides nourishment for our body and souls.

One of the things I love about this true story is that the Bible is accurate. It tells us exactly how many fish were caught  -  153.

This Scripture ends with Jesus giving Peter restoration and with that came instructions......feed My sheep. As the song goes, "From now on you're a fisher of men....There are souls to be caught everywhere in this old world......Go where hearts are plenty, don't just drift with the tide, Keep your lure in the water, in the waters of life."

Jesus wants us to be fishers of people. He wants us to use the right lure, (Himself and His Word), and to keep it in the water, (Living Water of Jesus Christ). To keep on keeping on in times like these, "When the sea is troubled and it's hard to stay afloat." To not give up or give in but stay connected, (hooked), to Him.

Keep Your Lure In The Living Waters of Jesus Christ.

Going Fishing!

For Friends in Affliction

Afflicted: - grievously affected or troubled, mentally or physically;
                 - to cause pain or suffering 
                 - to distress so severely as to cause persistent suffering or anguish

"It was good for me to be afflicted." (Psalm 119:71)

WHAT??

"He has led me and made me walk in darkness and not in light." (Lamentations 3:2)

WHAT??

Why would God allow such horrors and heartache to come into our life?
I asked this question many times after losing my son. I could not wrap my mind and heart around a good God allowing so much pain and anguish.

Although the Bible does not say who wrote Psalms 119, most Scholars agree it was David, who composed it throughout his life.
Lamentations was written by Jeremiah and is the book of mourning and grief over the conquest of Jerusalem and the kingdom of Judah. If you read Lamentations in its entirety, it will cause your heart to hurt and bring you to tears over the horrific and tragic things that took place.  Things that I can't even imagine.

So back to the question of why (and it's okay to ask why), that God would actually lead us into a dark place? The answer comes in the second half of the verse from Psalm 119; "so that I might learn Your decrees."
So that I may cry out to Jesus for help.
So that I will pour out my heart for His strength and endurance
So that I may know my Creator

It's good to be in the dark if it's by the Lord's leading because it has purpose. It's at the bottom place, dark and desolate place, where we find the Rock to climb up to. Then we start making our way back up. This is the place where hope is rekindled.

Affliction is a teacher if we allow affliction to grow us and make us better. Sadly, many choose the path of anger, bitterness, depression, cynicism, etc and turn their backs on the only One who can truly help and identify with us. Yes, Identify. Jesus was a "man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering." He was afflicted for us. (Isaiah 53)

He knows pain, heartache, loss and anguish.

Sometimes all we can do is be still and wait. Be still and seek. Be still and know that He is God.
That's hard for us today in our fast pace society with so much to do. But God is worth the wait.
He is worth the time to seek. You will never regret this.

After Jeremiah grieves, mourns, cries out and asked God where He is and why He hasn't shown up, he makes this statement: "Yet".....I like this word. This word in itself is saying, "hold on! There's something more!" It means, Nevertheless; However. "Yet, this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Not consumed with affliction. Not destroyed. Not devoured. Not depleted.
Because there's something more! Hope in Jesus. He is faithful. Always. This is why we can't stay in the dark place. We must start making our way back up while clinging to the Rock.

Keep enduring. The word enduring means, abiding, continuing. The only way we can do this in a spiritually healthy way is to endure with Jesus. "Endurance inspired by hope." (1 Thess. 1:3)

Our afflictions won't last forever. In fact, they are nearly over. This life is the shortest part of eternity. We have so much to look forward to. 

Keep on keeping on my friend in affliction!

Perspective. Sometimes I lose it. Nothing has ever put life in perspective as death. The death of my son.

During this time of so much confusion over a virus that is real and has claimed many lives, there is still chaos over what we should or shouldn't do, wear or not wear, go or not go, close down or not close down, be scared, worried and fearful or not...…. Perspective comes knocking at my door.

I don't think anything will ever affect me the way the loss of my child has. Lessons I've learned from that experience actually help me now during this time of confusion. Lessons in worry, fearfulness, and the unknown future.

Every time I lose perspective, God sees that I get it back pretty quickly. This morning spending time with Him helped me see once again.

Today is was a song; an orange tiger lily (my son's favorite); watching a mother bird care for her babies, and reminding me that God takes care of them, so how much more will He take care of me.

Already, today, these things.

In times such as these where we don't understand all that's going on, and whether there is an agenda, motives, manipulation, fight for power and authority, wealth and rule, this is what I know:
God is in control of it all. He allows and disallows. Whatever is really going on, I can rest in the fact that my God is Omniscient. He knows exactly, who, what, why, where, how and when and He watches over me, holding me, caring for me.

 Nothing escapes Him. Nothing.

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD" (Proverbs 21:30).
He has no rival. He has no equal.
He is Sovereign King of the universe.

I don't know what will become of all that is going on, but I am not afraid or anxious anymore.

Perspective came knocking.

Year 11

Today is the 11th year of my son's passing. My heart is full, but I have no words.
I sit and think and think and think some more.
I think about God, life, death, viruses, job loss, the hurting, the broken, the sick and my son.
My mind and heart are like a game of scrabble all mixed up.
I long.
I hurt.
I love.
I pray.
I had a blog; I had two. But, no. Not today.

This is what I know:
Jesus
Jesus is enough
Jesus is everything
Jesus came to die
Jesus rose from the grave
Jesus lives
Jesus loves
Jesus is the answer
Jesus is our only hope
Jesus

A Christmas Poem

Twas the night of Christmas when all through the town,
people were stirring, they had come from all around.
The census was being taken with much care.
Hundreds came to be counted and my family was there.


The children were comfortable, all snug in their beds,
after traveling far, now warm and well fed.
Dad and I in weariness, not feeling our best,
settled down now for a good nights rest.


When up on the roof there came such a clatter,
I jumped from the bed to see what was the matter.
Up the stairs I went as in a race,
and came to the roof and wide open space.


The moon seemed blurred by a brighter light.
I looked around and beheld the sight.
When what to my startling eyes should appear,
but a star, so bright, so big and so very near!


With people now crowding around to see,
everyone was saying, how can this be?
Now from out in the fields, the shepherds came,
whistling and shouting, calling their sheep by name.


Now Wooly, Curley, now Henry and Sadie!
Over here Chloe and Bell and Little Lady!
To the top of the hill and to the sheep stall,
now hurry on, hurry on, hurry on you all!


As the clear night sky gave the star a great glow,
the angels told the shepherds what they needed to know.
So off they went with their flocks in tow,
giving God the glory to bestow.


And then in a twinkling I heard someone say,
follow the shepherds, they know the way.
As my family drew near and looked inside,
I saw a woman holding a baby by her side.


He was wrapped all in cloths from His head to His toes,
and He was sleeping; His eyes were closed.
There were animals hovering all around.
It was strange, they weren't making a sound.


His mother's eyes, how they sparkled, her smile was so kind.
Everyone came close, she didn't seem to mind.
Her husband was watching as we all stood there,
ever thoughtful and gracious showing much care.


There was something wonderful happening here,
and we all found ourselves wiping a tear.
This was the Child, who was sent from above,
to help us, to heal us and save us with love.


It is a Christmas miracle, not just a story,
that Jesus left heaven and gave up His glory.
He came into this world through the lowliest door,
so we could be redeemed and completely restored.


But have we the wonder lost,
removed Christ from Christmas? At what cost?
We are in a hurry. Too busy. Indifferent, don't care.
And we think life has treated us unfair!


When the final page has been turned,
I wonder if by then we will have learned,
that when it is all said and done,
Jesus is all that matters, He is the only One!