In The Morning

For years I have had Lamentations 3:21-23 highlighted in my Bible. It is very poetic and beautiful. Recently, these verses were part of my daily devotional. When I read them, they struck me like never before.
   
   "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD'S great love we are not  
      consumed, for His compassion's never fail; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."  

Jeremiah wrote these words during hard and difficult days of Jerusalem's destruction.  It was a time of great loss. Even in the darkest days, Jeremiah found hope in God. He reminded himself of the LORD'S great love.

Every morning during my devotions, I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." (Lam. 3:24) Without this hope, what is the purpose of life? I must remind myself every day of this and if I do not start my day with God, I sense His urging and calling all day to come near to Him.

Oswald Chambers said, "Unless in the first waking moment of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, you will work on a wrong level all day." 
Some other verses from the Psalms, remind me that it is in the morning, at the first start of day, when we need to draw our strength from God.
  
   "Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You." (143:8)
   "In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before You and
      wait in expectation." (5:3)
   "Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love." (90:14)

When Moses was going to receive instructions from God in Exodus 34:2, the LORD told him to "Be ready in the morning, and then come up on Mount Sinai." Moses obeyed and met God there.

This day I was overwhelmed and needed the reminder that I have hope, that God meets with me in the morning, speaks through His word and reassures me of His love and faithfulness. He never leaves me or forsakes me.

"Give God the fresh blossom of the day. Never make Him wait until the pedals have faded."
                                                                                           .... ....    Streams in the Desert

Reminders

All I wanted was a child. After enduring health problems, surgery, and more health problems, it did happen. This little creation was my child, my baby. When the day finally arrived, I heard his soft cry—like a little lamb. I immediately wanted to hold my baby! But they rushed him away and I had to wait to see him. In my heart I kept saying, please hurry, I want my baby! Finally, they placed him in my arms, and yes, God, I heard you speak in my heart, “He’s My child.” I very clearly heard You and I had a choice to make. I knew what to do. I decided this: “He is Your child, God.  Thank You for him.” I prayed every day for that baby, little boy, teenager, young man, and every day You reminded me that he was Yours.

In my heart, I knew he was special and that You had unique plans for his life. I could not wait to see what you were going to do through him. Then You took him away from me!  My thoughts changed. What about those special plans? God, I prayed for him every day! I don’t understand! Wait! Don’t let this happen!

                                                              From: Peering Through a Mist

So many times, I have thought about the daily reminders God gave me when my son was alive. I really believed God reminded me daily that my son belonged to Him because I was going to witness those unique plans worked out in his life.  When, instead, his life was taken from him.

I remember the morning I was screaming out to God that I did not understand. What were You doing? Why would You do this to me, to him, to his dad? This did not make sense and I was angry, confused and suffering. I cried from the depths of my soul doubting everything I ever believed about God. How could He do this to us?

From somewhere within my heart, came the answer that quieted and comforted my anguished thoughts: I reminded you every day that your son belonged to Me, so that now, while you are grieving, you will be comforted knowing Gary belonged to Me. He is with Me. You will never have to worry about him again. He is safe. He is in My arms. He is loved. He is cared for, deeply. He is all right.

I am so often reminded that God’s ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts, our thoughts. Before all my suffering, I had confidence that God worked in my life in ways I could understand. Now that understanding has been trampled down. However, this is not a bad thing. I have learned that in my grief and lack of knowledge over my circumstances, trust has grown in its place.  Moreover, my faith, which has been tested to the limit, is stronger than ever.  Oswald Chambers said, “Faith by its very nature must be tried, and the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God’s character has to be cleared in our own minds. Faith in the Bible is faith in God against everything that contradicts Him—I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do. ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.’”

The Love of a Mother

Mother’s Day. A bittersweet day for me. Bitter, because I am a childless mother. My son died three years ago this past Easter Sunday. He was my only child. Sweet, because I know he is in heaven and this gives me peace and hope. And sweet because my mother is still living and I have her to love and cherish.

It is only fitting that Mother’s Day falls directly after Easter. While reading the Scripture for Passion Week leading up to Easter, I once again became intensely grateful of God’s love for me. No one on earth can possibly love us as God love us. The only way I can even try to comprehend His love is by comparing it to a Mother’s love. How deeply a mother loves her children! We will go that extra mile, give our last ounce of energy, and sacrifice whatever we need, all for our children. Although we would do anything and everything we could for their well-being, we are simply not humanly capable of meeting every need and sometimes we mess up.  However, Jesus is able. Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will meet ALL your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

When Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple, they met Simeon who took Jesus into his arms and said to Mary, “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” God was preparing Mary for what was to come. As the child Jesus grew, Mary prepared him for life. She nurtured Him, loved Him, met His physical and spiritual needs as best she could and lived her life pleasing to God the Father.

Is that not what godly mothers do? We love our children so much that we want to do everything we can to bring them up right. This is how we prepare them for life. But have you ever considered this training is also preparing them for death? What better way to show love to our children than to love God, and teach them His ways? This is one of the greatest responsibilities given to parents. In Deuteronomy 6, it says to “love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” To impress this on your children. To talk about God and His ways when you sit at home and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you get up. In other words,……..always.

In my book, “Peering Through A Mist, A mom’s journey in loss and God’s grace,” I talk of how seeing the movie, The Passion of the Christ, made me more aware and grateful of Christ’s love for me. Seeing that movie also brought out such compassion for Mary. She had to watch her son being tortured, beaten and spat upon and I wondered how she could ever bear seeing that. My compassion for Mary turned to empathy, when I suffered the loss of my own son. I had not watched the movie since my son’s death and hesitated to do so, but had an evening alone the week of Easter and chose to watch it again.

There is a scene in the movie where Jesus is carrying His cross and the crowds are pressing in. The disciple John takes Mary to where she can get close to her Son. Right before Jesus gets to the place where Mary is, she falls back and takes her eyes away, not knowing if she can bear the sight. While she is agonizing on this, Jesus comes in view and collapses under the weight of the cross. Mary’s mind goes back to a time when Jesus was a small boy. The scene is in slow motion. He is playing, when He falls and cries out. Mary stops everything to run after Him making sure He is not hurt. When she reaches Him, she takes Him in her arms and says, “I’m here, I’m here.” When her mind comes back to reality, she hears her adult Son fall and cry out. With passionate, powerful, motherly love she rushes to His side, wraps her arms around Him, and says, “I’m here, I’m here.”

What great love a mother has for her children! And yet to know our God loves us so much more!!

Everything I did as a mother to prepare my son for life mainly prepared him for death.

If you are a mother, will someday become a mother, or have a living mother, cherish that relationship. As my son’s life has shown, life is short. We do not know what tomorrow brings. How quickly the days fly away. Love like this is your last day.

Toginet Radio Interview

First radio interview -

http://toginet.com/podcasts/indiebookpublishing2/?s=indiebookpublishing2

“It’s the moment when humanity is overcome by Majesty. When grace is ushered in for good, and all the scars are understood. When mercy takes its rightful place, and all these questions fade away. When out of weakness we must bow, to hear You say, ‘It’s over now’.”
Comforting words from Mercy Me’s new song, The Hurt & The Healer.
I long for that day! When all my whys will be answered and my faith will have eyes. I will see how Jesus led me all the way, how He tended and cared for me with such compassion. Reminds me of some other words from Revelation. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Imagine Jesus personally wiping our tears away. “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” Powerful words.
I know there are others out there who have lost loved ones and their perception of this life has changed. We know our real home is Heaven. We are still here on earth, so as long as we are alive, we have a purpose, but our goal is to fulfill that purpose and go Home. Everything that happens to us in this life is preparing us for the next. As Billy Graham has said, “The present seems so real; the unseen future seems so illusory. But in reality the opposite is true.”
Fix our eyes on Jesus.

Book Signings

First official book signing.
March 18, 2012

Pretty centerpiece made by
Angie @ DMBC.



My parents, Ron & Dora Bowman.

Peering Through A Mist - Introduction