I stopped making new years resolutions a long time ago when I realized that it takes more than trying to turn over a new leaf, acquire new (better) habits, or resolve to accomplish more than the previous year. These resolutions are not bad action plans. However, most of us do not carry them out for very long before we lose sight, get discouraged or find road blocks that keep us from accomplishing them. And usually, this happens because we made the resolutions and tried to work them out from our own ideas and plans.
I learned through the death of my son, that "our plans" do not always turn out according to what we want or desire. When you want to die but can't, and don't have the strength to take the next step; when you're consumed with grief and anguish of heart and soul, you have to find help to get through the next moment, much more to the next day. Although I had been a Christian and in the Scriptures for years, it took a tragedy for me to know my great need of God. It was a different need than I had ever experienced and a perspective of God never known before. I have a saying, "Desperate times causes us to see our desperate need of God."
God says, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD. Jeremiah 29:11-14NIV
Another version says of verse 13, "Then (with deep longing) you will seek Me and require Me (as a vital necessity) and (you will) find Me when you search for Me with all your heart" (Amp). Yes, vital necessity.
Sometimes those plans are not what we imagined, or the prosperity not which we expected, or the future how we envisioned it. I have learned that God's thoughts are not my thoughts or His ways my ways, but God's ways are higher as is His thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9). He knows best and that is sometimes a hard lump to swallow when you lack understanding.
I do know this: The plans for me are to not waste my precious grief. The lessons learned through grief are more valuable than any new years resolution I could ever imagine. The peace of God, and that is a gift, is more than I can describe. The strength He gives me daily is unexplainable but I know I've been granted it. The comfort.......well, it's not just so that I can sit around and be comforted. I have to pass it on to another hurting soul that they may experience the same comfort that I have received (2 Corinthians 1:4.).
I ask this to be my goal for the rest of my life: "I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
[ABOVE ALL ELSE], guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways" (Proverbs 4:11-13 & 23-26).
Above all else, fixing my eyes on Jesus, "who is the Author and Perfecter of faith" (Hebrews 12:2).
Blessings for the new year!
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