Crossing The Bridge

This week, on my way to Madisonville, I had to travel across "the bridge" in Vonore. As other times, I am always subdued, always looking down in the water, wondering, questioning, thoughtful. What happened that my son fell out of his boat here? As I started across, the song Jesus, I Believe was playing on the radio. I had written a portion of the lyrics from that song the day before on my Facebook and in my journal. At that moment, the exact words were being sung: "I'm standing on Your promises, I know Your Word is true. You're bigger than what I see, It's You in exchange for me. Even the impossible is Your reality. Jesus, I believe."




Other events have occurred while driving across the bridge. We call them "God Things." I think God is letting us know that He is aware and always with us. Coincidence? No. Christians have no coincidences.




Where would I be now, almost nine years later, had I not believed His Word and stood on God's promises? Losing a child, and in our case, an only child, is a hard test of faith. What if I had chosen to give up on God because life was being unfair and I knew God could have prevented the accident?


I shudder to think of the spiritual state of mind and heart I could be in had I walked away from God. I would be bitter, angry and resentful, always holding a grudge against God. I would be in self-pity, a "woe is me" attitude. That is how I am very capable of being.




But God has graced us with strength to get out of bed everyday and keep going. He has comforted us in ways that are supernatural and are hard to explain. He has set in our hearts a compulsion to help others through the books He allowed me to write, through the fishing tournament and speaking engagements. God has done all this! Philippians 1:12 says, "What has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel."




There are paradoxes in the Christian faith: In sorrow, we find joy (2 Cor. 6:10); loss is gain (Phil. 3:8); spiritual blessings come by way of trials (James 1:2); losing our life for Christ's sake in order to find real life (Matt: 10:39); when I am weak, then I am strong, (2 Cor.12:10).


 Don't misunderstand me: I'm not saying it was good to lose our son - NEVER!  We want our son. We miss our son more than we can express in words. Death is part of the curse from sin. I hate death. Death has caused us more heartache and anguish of soul than could be imagined. It has been extremely hard on us. But why did spiritual blessings have to come through death? Was there no other way? I will never know. I do know this: Sorrow given to God, inspires us, even drives us to ministry. Sorrow has deepened our thoughts and our souls by allowing God to work in it and through it.




The lyrics from the song remind us that God is bigger than what we see and He sees the whole picture from beginning to end. There is purpose in afflictions and that is a stark reality.


Life is all about Jesus, not about us. It is "Him in exchange for me." His promises and Word is true. I take hold of the promise that says, because Christ lives, we also will live, (John 14:19). Because of that promise, my son lives as he has never lived before! And I am comforted.